As I sit down to write this letter today memories come rushing back to days and years that I wrote to you, but from an entirely different place in our lives. I was writing to you in rehab after rehab, jail cell after jail cell, in hopeless desperation for a life I would hope you would some day have. Finally, after all these years, we are there. I can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of the person that you are today.
You are the strongest person I know. I have witnessed the sad, pitiful, skinny and hopeless person you were while you were using. Now I see the struggle, strength, and faith of a person fighting their way to sobriety. I have watched this cycle over and over. You have taught me more about life, through your suffering and times of pure desperation than I learned any other way. You are my inspiration many days, and today is one of those days.
The journey I have been on with you has brought a lot of tears and gut wrenching sadness, but it has also brought a lot of joy, understanding, and knowledge. It has helped us to grow to be the people we are today. It sounds odd I know, but I am a better person because of your addiction and then recovery. For that, I will always be grateful.
Going to classes before visitation at treatment centers taught me acceptance and understanding of addiction. Visits to jail taught me humility. Twelve step programs showed me there was always hope for you to get clean. Alanon was the best teacher of all for me. It taught me that discipline and no more excuses were the way to go with you. If I ever wanted to see you done with this.
Now I have you back, better than you were before it all began. I never gave up on you. I always knew deep down that you could succeed in recovery and that your life would be a gift to those who suffer the way that you did. You have a kind heart and compassion for people who need help and hope, but most of all faith. The example of your faith has made mine even stronger, and again I thank you. You have so many people who love and respect you for all you have been through.
You have accomplished so much and did it all the hard way. Your family loves you more than you will ever know. You were special to me before you were ever born. You will always be my baby. I am so proud that you are my child and I can say I am your mom!
I love you!
Not everyone has someone to write a letter like this to them once they find long term recovery. This letter is dedicated to those people who deserve to hear these words but the people they need to hear them from are either unable or unwilling to say them.