It’s so easy to say that we are good people. To type Amen under posts and call ourselves Christians is easy, but a wise old man told me to not listen to what people say but to watch what they do. He wasn’t joking! In order to know who people are, especially in the online world…or even better the recovery online world you gotta watch how they treat others. Watch how they react to situations. Do they do the right thing, or do they talk about doing the right thing?
Recently I met a few women whom I believed were genuinely good people. All of them were damaged, of course, we all are or we wouldn’t be in the recovery community, to begin with. Damaged people are the kind of people I like the most. They understand me because I am damaged too. These women made me a better person. They brought me closer to God and showed me what being loyal really meant, or so I thought.
At first, I blamed it on the influence of an outsider but it has since come to my attention that a few of them got away from this other person for whatever reason. They didn’t come and say sorry to me, they didn’t publicly admit their wrong doings as I did in relation to this outsider. Right along they went as though they never knew me, or didn’t now know that they had judged me wrongly.
The pain that I felt from these women turning their backs on me was severe. It shouldn’t have been, I should have known better since this wasn’t my first rodeo here online. Yet, it did and I would be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt now. The reason I am writing this is so that maybe anyone reading this might think about something I wish I had. This isn’t real life. The people that you call friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or whatever social media platform aren’t the same as friends in real life. Yes, you can meet great people online but real true friends…they are rare in the real world. Online they are almost impossible to find.
Now don’t get me wrong you can have your friends online but don’t put the faith into them that you would if that person was sitting on your couch once a week. See they don’t see your face, hear your voice regularly, see your life and there for really know you. It’s so much easier to just stop answering messages when you will never run into the person at the supermarket or care about them in your heart.
So don’t be like me and believe that people care the way that you do. Don’t believe that because they tell you over and over how important you are to them that you really are. Always watch their relationships with others, see if I had thought about this I would have known where I stand. There were relationships with at least one of them that should have told me all I needed to know.
If you do have this happen just know that you aren’t the bad guy. It’s wrong to hurt people online or not. Just because someone talks the talk doesn’t mean they will walk the walk. Just because someone shares memes that are spiritual and they say Amen doesn’t mean they would do what Jesus would do. Also, if they don’t do those things…they might be the person that actually would worry about what Jesus would do. Be careful out here in the online world and remember when you see red flags in any relationship you gotta pay attention. Sometimes the consequences of ignoring those signs are great. As long as you take the relationships for what they are you will be safe though, so enjoy your online buddies just guard your heart along the way.